It all passes in the blink of an eye

(Cross-posted with my normal blog at http://welcometonyeusigrube.blogspot.com/ )

The wedding was wonderful - perfect. The closest thing I can compare it to is seeing particularly good visual fan-art, and having that moment of, "Oh my god, here in front of me is that person I imagined," except it was nothing like that.

If I had dreamed the wedding... well, it would be nothing like this, because in my dreams/anxiety-prompted nightmares, nothing went right. On the day itself, everything went right. I could not have wished for it to be any more beautiful.

We had tons of friends from a variety of places fly in-- Alaska, Washington, Minnesota, and Ohio represented-- and many of them stayed with us before the wedding. I was nervous beforehand about having house-guests, but they were all wonderful. The two who came in early and stayed with us a while (Mace and Devon) before the wedding were seriously the best house-guests you could ask for; they made those last anxiety-filled days so much easier. We all laughed so hard we probably seemed like crazy-people. It was wonderful - and then even more friends came in, and then family I haven't seen in years. Remarkably, air-travel cooperated; several people were early, and not a single person got into the airport late, so our five trips into Logan were relatively easy.

The day of... everything was beautiful. The anxiety dissipated during my hair-and-makeup appointment, after which the sentimental feeling made me nearly cry every time I saw a new person in the bridal party. Have you ever seen women fanning their faces with their hands, usually in silly TV shows and such? I never thought I would actually do that, but lo and behold...

There are a bunch of pictures posted in the Chatter forum on the Message Boards, and I'm sure more stories will come out there if you want to know more. For now... I'm checking back in to real life, with some of the best memories of my life to cherish and hold on to.

Yours,
Mrs. Atwater-Rhodes

PS - yes, we're each keeping our own names, but yes, I am using the Mrs. I fought for the right to be a Mrs in the Massachusetts State House. I'm wearing the title.

AWWW CRAP, 4 days left!

House guests here now. Whee!

It's going to be awesome.

Look! There's food!

Very quick update!

We had a food-tasting with our caterer today, which went very yummy. We're quite happy.

To answer a question I've received a couple times now: Thank you to those who have asked us to post our registry online so you can get us a gift, but that isn't necessary. Registry information will go out with wedding invitations.

Also other big-news stuff, which I've hinted at in other locations, but don't want to jinx by talking about it too much.

Just for fun

Just for the fun of it, Mandi and I made an appointment to go try on some "fun" dresses today- big puffy princess dresses and dresses with mermaid skirts, and otherwise the kinds of styles we're really not doing.

The camera we had with us wasn't great quality, so I don't have larger versions of these.

The way the world turns...

Today I talked to a gentleman from my bank about home loans. Mandi and I have started talking about the possibility of buying our own home sometime next year, probably after the wedding, and I had a few questions I wanted answered.

I had mentioned "My fiancee and I are talking about buying a house" and at some point in the conversation the man from the bank said, "You and your husband, right?" and I corrected, "Wife, but yes."

I didn't hesitate to correct him. I have played the pronoun game in the past, but at this point it didn't occur to me that there might be any problem with being honest. I live in Massachusetts. If I'm treated poorly because of my sexuality, I bring my business to another establishment.

The banker apologized, sounded a little embarrassed, and we moved on with the conversation.

The world is still heterocentric, and I imagine it always will be. After all, if 90% of the people out there are heterosexual, it's still a good bet the person talking to you will be. But at least locally-- and especially in the wedding business-- we've reached a point where businesses are embarrassed and apologetic when they make that mistake. And that's a special kind of progress.

After all, we live in a capitalistic society. The market drives this madness, and weddings are a pretty big market. To quote the executive director of MassEquality in July, 2008, "It's rare when doing the right thing and economic benefits go so closely hand-in-hand."

But seriously, can you imagine how many times and to how many people you have to come out in order to arrange a wedding? The Rabbi, the dress shop, the tux shop, the rental company, the jeweler, the caterer, the cake-baker, the candle-stick maker.

Where are we now; where should we be?

12+ Months

• Set a date: Check. July 4, 2010. Time TBA.
• Determine wedding day style and colors: Check. Red/White/Blue, semi-formal, summer outdoor wedding
• Hire a wedding planner: Check, in that we've decided to skip this step.
• Set up a budget: Kinda-check. A bit of a work in progress, but we have a goal.
• Compile guest list: More or less.
• Create a web page to announce... uh, well, kind of? We have a blog! And I put an announcement on Facebook and Nyeusigrube.
• Choose your wedding party: Check.
• Have an engagement party: Check.
• Book your ceremony and reception location: Check.
• Book your officiant: Check.

9-11 months

• Send out save-the-date cards: Still debating whether we're going to
• Book your caterer: In progress.
• Book your entertainment: Check.
• Book your florist: In progress.
• Book your photographer: Check.

6 - 8 months

• Buy your gown: Check for me, in progress for Mandi
• Determine your menu: In progress
• Book your cake baker: Connected to caterer
• Book your transportation: ??
• Book your ceremony musicians: Same as entertainment (DJ)
• Buy bridesmaids dresses: Check for me, visiting about tux for my best man, Mandi's bridesmaids in progress
• Register for gifts: Ha. No clue yet.

4 - 5 months

• Make honeymoon arrangements: Done preliminary discussions
  
• Rent or buy formal-wear: Doing the research
  
• Order invitations: Done preliminary research
  
• Order wedding bands: Identified jeweler
• Reserve rental equipment: In progress

3 months, 1 -2 months, 1 - 2 weeks, 3 - 7 days... more lists, but we're not there yet


List from: Roney, Carley. (2007). The knot book of wedding lists: The ultimate guild to the perfect day, down to the smallest detail. New York: Random House.

Less than a year left!

We found a better caterer-- local, highly recommended by many people, and kosher! Very exciting!

I'm going to see a good friend of mine today, and he's coming with me to try on my dress, which arrived at the bridal store. It'll need to go in for round-one of alterations, at least to add a bustle. [edit: Oh, fie! I just double-checked, and the dress isn't what's in. It's just the veil. Which is nice and pretty and all, but not nearly as exciting. Maybe I'll just pick it up this morning on my own]

On Tuesday I have an appointment with my bridesmaids to hopefully make final dress decisions. Why so early? Because they're discontinuing my color! Que horrible! I might end up changing my style choice... one of my bridesmaids is unhappy about it. I'll see if I can find something all three of us can live with.

Wednesday is a follow-up appointment with the tent people, to try out some different ideas for placement.

Meanwhile, we're on the search for DJs... one possible so far, but hoping more will respond to my emails this week.

We're trying to get as much done before September as we can, since that is when Mandi's schedule especially will go nuts, and there will be no more time for appointments and stuff.

Off I go now to get things from my mother's house and then track down a florist!